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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311498">Movie Night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roucarnage/pseuds/Roucarnage'>Roucarnage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Anal Sex, Cowgirl Position, Doggy Style, Double Penetration, F/M, Genderbending, Headcanon, Kissing, Lemon, NSFW, One Shot, Out of Character, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Swearing, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:42:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28311498</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roucarnage/pseuds/Roucarnage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Once a month, Hidan, Itachi, and Deidara got together for a movie night. Tonight is Deidara's choice and her movie causes an interesting chain of events.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hidan/Fem!Deidara/Itachi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Movie Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I've been wanting to write a fic with the three juniors. Now that I've done it, I'm going to twist it up as much as I can with the genderbend. </p><p>Enjoy.</p><p>p.s. no beta, too lazy to edit. Excuse any jank.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once a month, Hidan, Itachi, and Deidara got together for a movie night which they cycled so each one got to pick the movie. Last month Itachi’s choice was an artsy-fartsy film that put both Deidara and Hidan to sleep while the month before that, Hidan’s was a slasher, gorefest that made it so Deidara and Itachi couldn’t sleep for days. This month, it was Deidara’s turn and having a secret weakness for romance, her pick was her favourite romcom; the storyline of which involved the female main character falling in love with her two, male best friends and having to choose between them with shenanigans consequent.</p><p>So, after making snacks and drinks, Deidara popped in the DVD and they say down on the couch to watch. However, it was only twenty minutes in when Hidan started chuckling to himself and it wouldn’t have been so distracting, if there was humour to laugh at.</p><p>“What?” Deidara finally barked at him, believing he was laughing at her favourite chick flick. She didn’t laugh at his self-insert horror movie. Though, she was too busy screaming.</p><p>“Nuthin, I jus’ git why ya like this,” Hidan said, grinning as he ushered at the screen. “This chick is you.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Yeah, I may be dumb but I ain’t blind, Blondie. A chick wit’ two sexy dude friends an’ she’s in love wit’ them both. I see ya.” He winked at her.</p><p>It took her a minute to realize what he was insinuating but once she did, her face darkened red. “I am not in love with you and the Uchiha, hn!”</p><p>“Aw c’mon, ya love us a ‘lil.”</p><p>“No, I fucking don’t!”</p><p>“Well, we love you.”</p><p>“Eww!”</p><p>Meanwhile, Itachi glanced between his two scabbling friends and the television screen while munching on popcorn, staying well and out of it. </p><p>Thankfully, Hidan left it and Deidara went back to watching her film, now fuming while the albino’s dumb smile stayed on his dumber face. It must’ve lasted all of ten minutes though as there was a scene with the female lead getting drunk and kissing one of her male friends, ending in instant love. This, again, made Hidan laugh and Deidara’s head turned to glare at him so fast that the cracking of her neck legitimately made Itachi flinch.</p><p>“What now, Hidan!?”</p><p>“It’s…it’s jus’ bullshit. Ya can’t jus’ kiss a motherfucker an’ be all lovey dovey wit’ them. That ain’t how shit works.” He claimed between laughter.</p><p>“Yes, you can! It’s called ‘true love’s kiss’!”</p><p>“Bullshit.”</p><p>“You’re bullshit!”</p><p>“Oh yeah? Why don’tcha prove me wrong?” Deidara didn’t understand what he meant by that, and she didn’t have the chance as suddenly, Hidan lurched at her and smashed his lips into hers, the strength of which pushed her back into Itachi.</p><p>Immediately, the blonde tried pushing him off, but the man caught her hands, snaring them to her chest. He breached past her plush lips with his tongue and hunted for her own in the hot, wet cavern of her mouth. Once he found it, it could only be described as a light switch effect as she kissed him back, tongue happily playing with his own between the hallway of their lips. Itachi, meanwhile, kept his head down in the popcorn bowl during the two’s awkward make-out session literally on him.</p><p>Finally, after several minutes, Hidan canceled the teeth-crushing kiss, trailing a string of salvia connected between their bruised lips. Deidara opened her eyes, not sure when she shut them and the first thing she saw was the Jashinist’s smug, smirking face.</p><p>“Well shit, looks like ya proved me wrong, didn’t cha?” He cawed.</p><p>Deidara said nothing. Instead, she glared at him while trying to catch her breath and failing to urge the redness from her face. Hidan withdrew back to his original seat on the opposite side of the sofa while she kept herself huddled against Itachi. The Uchiha offered her popcorn from his stash which she accepted, nearly gnawing off her own fingers in her delirium. She wasn’t happy about the kiss, and she was even unhappier when noticing she had missed one of her favourite scenes in the movie.</p><p>For fifteen, glorious minutes, Hidan kept quiet, not even chuckling at the “jokes” and Deidara was finally starting to calm down—and then, the second kiss scene played out. In it, the lead felt guilty for kissing one friend and so invited her other friend over to kiss him too. Once it started, Deidara felt Hidan’s hawkish gaze on her again and she did her best to ignore him, but it was impossible, especially once he chose to speak up again with his obnoxious Yugakure accent.</p><p>“Oi, Blondie, looks like ya owe the Uchiha a kiss too.”</p><p>“Ew, no!” She instantly squealed.</p><p>“C’mon, it’s only fair.”</p><p>“Hidan, please.” Itachi quietly pleaded, not wanting any part in this and because he was genuinely interested in the film.</p><p>Hidan clicked his tongue against his pronounced upper teeth. “Tch, y’all are borin’. Whateva, Blondie’s too pussy.”</p><p>Deidara bristled at the insinuation. “Excuse me?”</p><p>“Ya heard me, yer too pussy to kiss him.”</p><p>“I am not!”</p><p>“Wut? Too pussy er not kissin’ Pink Eye?”</p><p>“Neither!”</p><p>“<em>Pussy!</em>”</p><p>“Fuck you! I am not kissing the Uchiha and even if I did, I wouldn’t be too pussy to do it, hn!”</p><p>“Dat so?”</p><p>“Yes!”</p><p>“Then do it! Do it, do it, do it!” Hidan started chanting while punching his fists on his knees and grinning.   </p><p>It was then Deidara started to get flustered and when she was flustered, she made bad decisions and it was due to this, she blurted out what she did. “Watch me then!”</p><p>“Wha—?” Itachi asked but wasn’t able to finish his question when spun towards him and lunged at him, causing the bowl to fall from his hands in favour of catching her, littering the floor in popcorn and salt. In the process, she crushed her mouth against his in a bumbling kiss that was more teeth than lips.</p><p>Itachi matched the kiss once the shock was over, if just to get it over since Deidara was just doing this silence Hidan and expected to be immediately pushed away, maybe in disgust for kissing back. What he didn’t expect was for her to kiss him harder, making no inkling of ending this so soon as she leant heavily into him, practically into his lap. Like last time, it turned into a battle of tongues while Hidan, observed, entertained at the Frenching between Deidara and Itachi—like watching a unicorn fuck another unicorn—it was that rare and fictional. However, his humour gradually swerved into jealousy as their make out session lasted much longer than his own kiss with Deidara.</p><p>Due to this, after an additional minute and no end to it, the Jashinist grabbed a handful of blonde hair and used it to pull Deidara’s head backwards, prying her lips from the Uchiha’s and leaving her gasping like a suffocating fish. Itachi was disappointed by the disruption but didn’t let it be known.</p><p>“Didn’tcha ever hear that sharin’ is carin’?” Hidan smirked down at her before kissing her again, hard.</p><p>Dragging her from Itachi’s lap into his own, he hugged the female to his chest as they necked and pushed a hand down her tanktop. She gasped into his mouth as his hand planted itself on her breast and calloused fingers tweaked her nipple until it was hardened. Hidan smirked against her parted lips. Itachi timidly glanced between them and the television screen though at this point, it was just background noise.</p><p>After gifting him a little treatment, Deidara pushed Hidan off once again in favour of Itachi and while the Uchiha was surprised by the affection, he welcomed it and didn’t hesitate this time to kiss her back, cradling her against him. Hidan, on the other hand, wasn’t too disappointed with the obvious favourtism going on. Instead, while the raven occupied the blonde, the albino took to pushing his hands under her shirt again, pawing at her breasts while suckling on her neck and ears. She mewled and whimpered but didn’t push him away, only goading on the heavy petting until one hand was on her chest and the other had traveled its way into her underwear where intrusive fingertips took to searching through a field of gold.</p><p>Once they found what they had been looking for, Deidara let out a loud moan against Itachi’s lips and Hidan smirked against her neck. He immediately took to kneading her clitoris and her head fell back onto his shoulder as the artist whimpered, eyes screwed shut and bottom lip chewed. Itachi leant forward to pepper her neck with kisses as he squeezed the breast Hidan didn’t currently have a handle on. Between the two of them, it didn’t take long until Hidan felt his fingers get wet and slippery on her sex and her quivering though he didn’t give her the pleasure of an orgasm.</p><p>Pulling his hand from her pajama pants, he pushed her into Itachi, which earned no disapproval from either as they immediately took to sucking face again until Hidan yanked Deidara’s hips backwards, making her yelp as she fell face first into the Uchiha’s lap while the other man had her bottom half in his. She was going to interrogate him on what he thought he was doing, but she was given her answer as she bellowed out and grasped handfuls of Itachi’s pants, bewildering the man on what was happening until he glanced up at Hidan—who had his slacks pulled down as well as Deidara’s and her underwear.</p><p>“Oh <em>fuck</em>! Dear Jashin, yer <em>tight</em>, Blondie.” Hidan gasped and gave her naked backend a spank, leaving a red handprint.</p><p>Deidara said nothing, not that she could as whatever breath she had was exhaled into grunts and mewling as he thrusted hard into her. Thank whoever above, whether it be Jashin or whatever that she was wet. Itachi tried not to look, but it was an impossible task when your friend—or “friend”—was being fucked in your lap by your other friend. It was so lewd yet so sexy and unfortunately, Itachi was human. Due to this, he may’ve gotten a little turned on—or a lot; a fact Deidara became cognizant of when she suddenly had a hard object located in the raven’s pants being punched into her cheek everytime Hidan thrusted into her. Itachi looked elsewhere, red-faced and ashamed.</p><p>Any other day, she would’ve brutalized him for his disgusting, male functions, but tonight was different (obviously) and she wasn’t all there. Afterall, she had already swapped spit with the Uchiha so why not go all the way? It was because of this backwards thinking, she tugged on the waistband of his pants, freeing his larger-than-she-though erection, and then gulping it down. It gave Itachi a fright as he yelped—yes, the great Uchiha Itachi yelped—like a puppy having its tail accidentally stepped on.</p><p>She sucked him off in tune to Hidan’s plunging into her with one of her palmmouths nursing on the little length she couldn’t swallow down and Itachi slumped against the couch, one hand clinched over his eyes and teeth gritted. This bizarre behaviour of the typically stoic male caught Hidan’s attention and seeing the cause it fueled the Jashinist as he hammered harder into Deidara, making her moan around the member in her mouth which in turn made Itachi moan.</p><p>“Fuck yes, ya like bein’ spitroasted, Blondie?” She didn’t reply since, afterall, it was impolite to speak with your mouth full. For her silence, he spanked her again and only then she did gasp with Itachi grunting.</p><p>It didn’t take long afterward for Hidan to start feeling it as his thrusting turned clumsy and a few minutes later, he pushed himself deep into her and grunted. Deidara gasped again, quivering and moaning at the pleasant feel of liquid heat being pumped into her. After several seconds, he had emptied himself and collapsing on the end of the couch, arm sprawled over his dumb, smiling face. He hadn’t come close to getting her off too, a fact that irked Deidara but if you wanted a job done well, you had to do it yourself—and so she did.</p><p>Itachi withheld the disappointed noise inside his throat when the blonde pulled her mouth off him, leaving him hard, aching and wet in the cold evening air. He was glad he hadn’t made a fuss though, because what she did was instead much, <em>much</em> better. Maneuvering herself in his lap again, she grabbed the Uchiha’s manhood and lined herself up before letting down on it, causing a harmonized moan to leave them both. She didn’t hesitate to start fucking herself on him and the Uchiha could do nothing but take her hips to guide her motions while trying not to lose himself too much in the pleasure like Hidan had. Damn it was hard though and he was starting to understand what the other man had been harping on about earlier.</p><p>“Oi, enjoyin’ my sloppy seconds, Uchiha?” Hidan heckled Itachi but once again, he was ignored. Not that Itachi could reply to him as Deidara glued her lips back over his in a gesture that felt oddly intimate between the two now.</p><p>Once he caught his breath, Hidan was back in it but his efforts to make this threesome a threesome, were frustratingly ignored as Deidara and Itachi were obviously more interested in each other than him. However, if there was one thing about Hidan, it was he was not to be ignored.</p><p>Suddenly, Deidara’s head was wrenched back by her hair, again, and a pair of sticky fingers was forced into her mouth, nearly gagging her in the process. Thankfully, she didn’t have a gag reflex though she huffed through her nose while doing her best to glare through the back of her skull at the culprit. Getting the ham-fisted hint, she sucked on the digits though crinkled her nose up at the unpleasant flavour of herself seasoning them. Once Hidan was pleased, he plucked them out with a wet pop and this time, she did glare at him. If she thought that was bad, however, then where those fingers ended up was far, far worse.</p><p>Suddenly, what she let out was a loud gasp and Itachi glanced up from where he had been lazily nursing on her neck to see her face twisted up into a grimace. Her bucking on him slowed to a halt and her head fell onto the Uchiha’s shoulder, only furthering his puzzlement. Then, over her shoulder, he saw Hidan—because it was always Hidan—and just then, Deidara jerked her head up again, nearly headbutting Itachi in the process.</p><p>“No! No, no, no! It’s not going to fit, <em>it’s not going to fit, hn</em>!” She whimpered, franticly glancing back at the albino and swatting at him.</p><p>“Yeah, it is. I’m gonna make it fit.” He countered, ignoring her feeble attempts to stop him. Itachi, was once again in the dark.</p><p>Again, Deidara slumped against him, trembling and letting out a hushed yell into his neck as all of sudden, there was a pressure on his manhood he couldn’t explain and made Itachi flinch. Deidara jerked, gasped while Hidan threw his head back and sighed, teeth chewing on his bottom lip.</p><p>“See? I told’cha I’d make it fit.” He smugly said and Itachi finally clued into what just happened.</p><p>“Hidan, did you…?”</p><p>“He did…” Deidara mewled and confirming his suspicions that the pressure he had felt was in fact, Hidan penetrating the blonde also though anally.</p><p>Hidan began thrusting into her, causing Deidara to in turn bob on Itachi’s cock. It started a clumsy rhythm between the three of them and while Hidan by all appearances was having the time of his life, it took Deidara and Itachi a minute to adjust, especially Deidara since he never had anal sex, nonetheless, been double penetrated. However, after arranging herself where she was sandwiched between her two male friends, she found a comfortable middle ground where Hidan thrusted into her, causing her to slide up Itachi’s member then pushed herself back onto it while Hidan pulled back to prepare himself for the next thrust. Hidan was the one to control the momentum with Deidara struggling to match it though Itachi did his best to guide her hips. It was awkward, yes, but surprisingly pleasurable too for all parties involved.</p><p>Itachi was littering Deidara’s neck and face with kisses with one hand stuffed between them to finger her while Hidan leant heavily onto her back, hands white-knuckle grasping her hips and chin nested on her shoulder as he orchestrated their movements. Due to this, it was understandable that after only a few minutes of it, Deidara felt the telltale warming of her insides, like a kennel on flame.</p><p>It Hidan that picked up on the subtle squeezing of her muscles. “Oi, ya feelin’ it, Blondie?”</p><p>“Y-Yes…”</p><p>“That’s wut I’m fuckin’ talkin’ ‘bout.” Hidan grinned and proceeded to ram harder into her, nearly making her jerk right off them both but he had her planted.</p><p>Deidara mewled and panted, digging her black nails into Itachi’s back while brought herself down harder and harder onto the Uchiha to match Hidan and in desperation to snatch her orgasm. Itachi felt himself skating on the edge also from the way her walls clamped down onto him to how he was being rubbed through the plush wall that separated the two men. It was because of this, Itachi was first to the finish.</p><p>“Oh…fuck…” He muttered in uncharacteristic crudeness, falling back against the couch arm and eyes clinching themselves shut as he ejaculated inside the artist.</p><p>It was this explosion of white-hot that sent Deidara tumbling off next, bawling as she came with such ecstasy from the dual stimulation that white noise crackled in her ears, prompting her to think her hearing aids just blew out. Hidan was last but not by much though his climax much quieter than the others as he had cum once before, grunting, pleased, as he came. Once he had milked himself dry, he pulled out, laying himself back over the cushions while Deidara slumped into Itachi’s the arms and the two huffed and puffed like the two asthmatics they were.</p><p>“Y’all ok?” Hidan asked after a minute, prepared to have to get up and fetch both of their inhalers if they lapsed into a breathing attack.  </p><p>“Yes…” Itachi nodded, glancing down at Deidara as he pet his hand through her tangled, blonde strands to try and straighten them. He knew the personal hell it was to have snarls. She didn’t parrot him, having not heard the question as he ears kept on ringing.</p><p>She sat up with trembling arms on Itachi’s and when she did, Itachi noticed how bizarrely wet the fabric of his pants felt—soaked even. She caught his curious staring and petting and realized, to her horror, she had in fact squirted on him during her orgasm. When was done squirrelling her face in her hands from that embarrassing fact and the overall shame of not just fucking Hidan, but <em>Itachi</em>, she turned to glare at the former for starting all this. As she did, the black television screen caught her eye. Not only was the movie over but she had missed the whole thing!</p><p>“Y-ou made me mis-s my move-ay” She barked at Hidan, overpronouncing her words as she currently couldn’t hear herself speak.</p><p>“Oh please, this was way better than that chick flick.” Hidan said, dismissing it with a wave of his hand.</p><p>“No, it w-as no-tah!” She barked, having read his lips despite his backwards accent, having had trained a lot off of Sasori.</p><p>“Thems big claims from a chick that just got double-stuffed like a black-an’-white cookie, I tell you wut.”</p><p>“Oh Hidan.” Itachi sighed, shaking his head.</p><p>“I get to wa-tch a-gain! Next month!”</p><p>“Sure, let’s do that. That way, we can fuck ya ‘gain. It’s better background fluff than porn!” Hidan pushed himself off the sofa, tucking himself back into his jeans before leaving, cackling all the way back to his bedroom.</p><p>Once he was gone, Deidara noticed the little fact she was still seated on Itachi as in, seated <em>on</em> Itachi and so pushed herself away from him, causing her to fall back onto the sofa and in the process, making a mess of them both—more of mess. Quickly, she scrambled up into a seated position and got to her feet, using the napkins and dab the leftovers of their threesome.  </p><p>“Worse. Movie night. Ever.” She grumbled, pulling up her underwear and pajama pants then fleeing the scene, leaving Itachi by himself.</p><p>“I thought it a very pleasant movie night.” He said to no one, leaning down to pluck a piece of cold popcorn off the floor before grabbing the remote to reverse the film so he may watch it again without any disruptions this time.</p>
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